Chai – the Hebrew symbol for “Life”
I love the fall colours, the crispness in the air, and the beautiful Indian Summer days. In fact for many reasons fall should be my favourite season, except that the period from August 14 – October 17 the calendar is spotted with far too many sad anniversaries – the loss of my mother, father, Bill & Chris. That, combined with the declining daylight hours, make it a hard period to get through.
Yesterday was one of those sad days. Eight years ago someone I loved very much made the choice to end, what he felt, was unbearable suffering. I’ve never talked much about this with anyone, because its always been a “taboo” subject, as well as a controversy. Did he die of natural causes as the pulmonary embolism indicated, or did he die as a result of the massive doses of drugs he took? We’ll never really know. I just know that he chose death, when there could have been so much more life available to him.
In another 30 days, it will be the one year anniversary of Chris’ death. Again Chris made choices through his life, some of which contributed to his untimely death. The choice to not refuse the morphine that he became addicted to at the end, and which eventually killed him, was again a sad choice ending a special life far too soon.
Right now I should be packing for a trip to Europe. I had planned on going on a cruise on which James Van Praagh would be holding seminars for people who booked with his group. Unfortunately I had to make a choice also, and my choice was to save a little red dog who had a great joy for life, and a deadly condition. Perhaps I’m crazy, but I just couldn’t handle any more death.
Someone else in my life has made a choice – and I’m proud of her. My sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer – and she’s chosen to fight it in every possible way available to her. Talk about not taking any bull!! She doesn’t take “we don’t know” for an answer, and she is just amazing as she battles this. I can’t say that I would have her courage. Love you Phyllise!
As I brought the dogs in tonight, Jaime took one wild frap around the yard at full tilt, barking and weaving around Rocky, who I think and hope is also perpetuating the Circle of Life. As she barked and ran with such joy all the questions in my mind fell away.
There was no “choice”. To choose life is the only answer.