Yasashiikuma

Thirty plus years ago, a very stupid and immature single mother ended a relationship with a person who we’ll just refer to as PB.

His fault? Not alcohol abuse, he did overimbibe at one time, but basically quit drinking in the time they were together.

Abusive?  No he was the most caring and gentle person you could ever hope to meet.   He had a soft side he showed very few people, but I remember seeing it when a foal he was trying to save died, and that was the moment my heart melted.

Impatient?  No, he took another man’s children under his week.  Taught a young boy to fish, and camp, and use tools, and read bedtime stories to a little girl as she fell asleep in his lap.

Dishonest?   I can’t think of a single lie that he ever told.

Unmotivated and lazy?  No, at 44 he went back to school to learn a new trade and get out of a dead end job.

So what was so horrible?   As I said, an immature person who could not stand to spend nights alone when he started working nights as a result of the career change.

It wasn’t that many years later, that she realized her error, and learned that there were far worse things in this world than being alone in the evenings.   Realizing that she had done him a huge injustice she set out to find him, to at least apologize to him for the shabby way that she had treated him, and assure him that there was nothing that he had wrong.  At first there was no internet, and searches were limited to attempting to find people in common who might know where he had gone.   Possible leads pointed to him going to Alberta, and another said that he had gone back to Yorkshire and died there.   When I was in Yorkshire in March 2011 I tried to locate a grave without success.

In 2000 she posted on a message board looking for lost friends and family.  A couple of days ago she found that there had been a reply 11 years later from someone who said it might be her father. Yesterday I made contact with one of his daughters, and learned the sad truth.  The chance to make apologies had passed, he died in September 2012.

A lesson learned, never ever put off saying you are sorry.  You never know if life may rob you of another chance to utter those words.

Tibi adsum PB.  Rest in peace.

I am home, finally from the 2013 CWCCA Nationals.  It was a long trip, which I will write about in another post, and while not as successful as prior years, the results were close to what I expected.  Unfortunately no really big brags on my own kids, although there were some nice wins…more on that later.

I saw the trip as an opportunity to scratch another thing off my bucket list, seeing the Grand Canyon, in conjunction with showing to a panel of Megan judges I hoped could appreciate my dogs.  I saw a lot of the U.S. for the first time, and had fun at the Nationals with some great friends, and caught up with others I see only once a year.  I will post pictures of some of the scenery, again in future posts, but the thing that struck the deepest chord with me, was something I would have never seen, had I not stopped in Elk City, Oklahoma because I was too tired to drive any further.

Binding Contract - by Bradford J Williams

After booking a room for the night, I asked where I could get a decent meal, and was directed into downtown Elk City on Historic Route 66.   As I came around a bend, I saw this life sized statue in front of the Western Oklahoma Bank, entitled “Binding Contract” and thought “Wow!! I have to go back and get a picture of that!”.   Even with only a quick glance, that statue touched something in me.  The sheer simplicity of an agreement made and sealed with a handshake, made me wish that life could be that simple once again.  Unfortunately, by the time I got dinner and left the restaurant it was too dark to get any pictures, and next morning I was on the road again at dark o’clock to complete the trip to Tucson.

All week questions about that statue kept flowing through my mind.  What agreement were they shaking on?  Was it something as simple as agreeing to pick up supplies for a friend, or as life changing as agreeing to marry off a daughter?    I’m quite sure that whatever it was, both parties stood by their word, because back then a lack of integrity could do more damage to a man’s ability to survive, than almost anything else.

I did some research when I had internet in the hotel and found that the statue was commissioned by the Bank of Western Oklahoma in 2010, and was done by Bradford J. Williams.  There is a smaller replica of the statue available.  Unfortunately, it fell outside of my price range, so I have to just keep hoping to win a lottery so I can buy it.

So instead of heading home by my intended route through Denver, I detoured back to Elk City to grab some photos of the statue.  Unfortunately the day was overcast as I raced the storm named “Walda” home – so the pictures are not as good as I hoped they would be.

In contrast to the simplicity of the action, the statue does have some amazing detail – from the twist in the lariats, to the soles of their boots and the knots in the rails of the cedar fence

I have dwelled on why this piece of art was so important to me.  I think  it hit me so hard, because of the lack of integrity I have found in dealing with so many dog show people.   I have always said that dog show people are the best, and the worst people in the world.  When they want something from you, they are your best friend in the world, but when you don’t agree, they can be the nastiest and most cut-throat.   In contrast to these two men, a verbal agreement means absolutely nothing, and reams and reams of paper have to be utilized to capture what will happen in every single possibility in a contract, because if it isn’t written down and signed and witnessed, you can be guaranteed that one party will find an out and make life miserable for the other.

I don’t want to even think of the number of bitches, that I have allowed to live elsewhere, and never had the chance to breed, or never received payment for as per an agreement, whether that be having the bitch available to breed, or receiving a puppy in return.   I have in all of my contracts that dogs cannot be sold or placed without my permission, and that has been done also.

The dog show world consists of a large number of cliques.  If  you remember the old Venn diagrams we studied in school, sometimes these circles intersected, and cliques had friends in common, sometimes there were even common elements in three or more subsets.  Anyone who knows me well, knows that I consider myself “Switzerland”.   I will  not align myself with any particular group or political affiliation, preferring to see the good and the bad in all sides.   Like these ranchers – I ride the fence.

In school I hung out with friends who were more studious, and with a wild group.   The first group are still my friends, the other taught me enough about life that my own kids were never able to pull the wool over my eyes.   When I first started breeding Irish Wolfhounds, I did the unthinkable combining lines from breeders who would not even consider giving each other the time of day.   That gave me a line of substantial, sound dogs, that did a lot of winning for me for many years.  Not everyone agreed with what I was doing, but again, good friends stuck by me understanding that my purpose was only to breed sound, healthy dogs with the best chance at longevity.

In Corgis, much the same has happened.   After several years in the breed, I started to research on my own other lines, to bring in characteristics I wanted to change.   While this did not endear me to some, it did allow me to breed dogs that have gone on to do some great winning.   The problem now, is that others want to use my dogs in their lines, and I am left in the position of trying to sort out the intentions of others.   It also puts me in a position I hate, of being in front of people so they can talk behind your back.

I had looked forward to Nationals, as a chance to see some of my special friends.  I did get to spend time with a lot of them, others could not be bothered to give me the time of day.  I wondered why, until I learned that gossip is being spread about me to damage my reputation.  All I can say is that any of you are wondering what to believe and how to separate fact from fiction, is ask any of my long-term friends who have known me for 20 years or more.  They will tell you that it could be me in that photo above.   One of the things that I have learned dealing with people during this path in life,  is that life can take almost anything else away from you – your money, your home, your loved ones – but the only thing that can never be taken from you is your integrity.

I wish more dog show people felt the same, that their word was gold.   Too often, I have learned, it is pyrite – it bears a superficial resemblance to the real thing, but upon closer scrutiny it just lacks the same value.

Well, it is now over a month that I have been making the trip between residences, toting the entire crew with me.  These photos show a little bit of the insanity that has become my life.

Every week is like packing to go to the Nationals.   Right now I am travelling with SIXTEEN dogs, and I don’t even have Brogan along as he is visiting with Debbie until life settles a bit. (I know it will never settle totally).

So it is easy to fall into the trap of self-pity at this stage.   I made the decision to breed both Libby and Jade, based on the fact that I had 32 names on my waiting list.   I have learned a lesson, and will not make that mistake again!  Next time, it will be deposits to show commitment, if I am going to breed more than one litter at a time.

Really the puppies are very good.  They all take the travelling like seasoned professionals with no car sickness, or accidents in the crate.  It’s just that the loading of dogs is a one to one and a half hour process at each end, and then the kennels at the departing end have to be cleaned and blankets put on to be washed so that they are ready for our next arrival.

To add insult to injury, not only is there basically an entire “extra” litter of puppies, I am also dealing with three dogs that hate each other, a dog that has come back and not found a new home, and an old dog that has become incontinent    But I’ve been dealing with it.

Then this week turned out to be the week from hell.   I had put an ad in the paper to hire someone to come in and look after the dogs mid-day.  Only two responses, and the woman I hired (and gave my spare keys to) only showed up one day before heading to Toronto to take care of “personal stuff” with no notice (and no returning of the keys).   So when I get home its a mad flurry of getting dogs out, cleaning kennels, washing floors, and blankets, and feeding.  Unfortunately the young girls are bored and becoming destructive to boot    I can’t even get them out for a walk in the woods because by the time I am done it is dark.

Thursday night I arrived home to torrential rain on top of the darkness.   And to top it all off – I locked myself out of the house.   Because said “care provider” had my only spare set – there has been NO time to get more cut!! – I was unable to use them to get in, and could not contact her by phone.   Finally my boss drove out and was able to get in through a basement window to get me in.

So driving home last night, I was really beginning to question the wisdom of what I am doing.   Why am I breeding dogs for people who really don’t care about the quality of the dogs they are buying, and end up buying the first dog to become available?  Why am I bothering to health test, and spend money on using quality stud dogs, when people don’t really care about the pedigrees or whether their dog is “programmed” to live a long and healthy life, they just want a cute cheap puppy?

Then last night, on the way home, I had a reminder of why I do what I do.  I have always maintained to my people that I am a 24/7 resource for them for advice and help   So when one of my families contacted me saying their puppy had swallowed a magnet and what should they do, I immediately called and talked them through getting the offending item out of said puppy.

So thank you for reminding me why I do what I do.  It is so that people who do care where their puppy comes from, and do wait and adopt a puppy from me, have someone to rely on for advice.     Out of every negative experience comes a positive lesson, and thank you for providing the one I was needing last night!

Tomorrow I get to judge puppy and veteran sweepstakes in Raleigh.   Since I hadn’t been to visit Lynn & Ward in North Carolina, I decided to add a couple of extra days and add a little bit of vacation to the trip.

So, true to form, there had to a challenge to the travel plans.  The original plan:

10:24 – 11:37 – Buffalo to Washington, Dulles

12:12 – 1:17  – Washington to Raleigh

Care to guess what happened?

The flight out of Buffalo was delayed because the ground crew had a problem with hydro power, delaying the boarding.    The de-planing was delayed because they needed to get a ramp for a wheel-chair bound passenger, instead of the regular stairs.   So even though I was first off the plane, and bolted for the connection, I was too late (along with all of the other Raleigh bound passengers) and they would not let us on board.

So, United booked us all onto the next Raleigh bound flight at 3:17, in another terminal which required multiple elevators, lots of walking and a train to get to.  All of us who were delayed congregated to commisserate and wait for the flight….which was delayed till 5:15, then 5:25, then 5:45….and eventually we were boarded and had an uneventful flight to Raleigh.   Honestly, these air travel delays are starting to get a little old!!

So we arrived in Raleigh without incident and I actually managed to find Lynn & Ward without trouble.  We had a very nice Mexican dinner (down here there never seems to be a problem with quantities!!) and cam back to the house to crash.

Today we headed out on a driving tour of the area.  Turns out the “big river” I thought I saw from the air, is actually a big lake.  We went up to Lexington to a highly rated barbecue place.   I thought this sign on the door was hilarious – we would NEVER see something like this in Canada:

The lunch, we all agreed, was “okay” – it was definitely edible, and plentiful, but not worth the drive.  It was still a nice drive and I got to see the area and lots of plants.  I learned what wisteria actually looks like, saw my first mstletoe, and kudzu.  After lunch we went on the hunt for ice cream.   A trip to where they expected to find a good ice cream place didn’t end up in the anticipated ice cream, but I got a shot of this neat wall around a construction site:

I thought that was much nicer than the hand-bill plastered “POST NO BILLS” construction walls I am used to seeing    The plaza also had some beautiful trees and this smelling flowering crabapple apple had the nicest scent - it would have been nice to bottle it.

Shortly afterwards we managed to find a wonderful smelling chocolate and ice cream store where we could get our much anticipated treat.

And this is the sign of good ice cream!!